Never Too Much Pain
by DistantThoughts
Summary: The is a continuation of BrokenDragons Never Too Thin (1). Takes place a week after Serena gets out of the hospiltal. Serena is having a hard time over the death of her friend, she falls into depression. Can she handle her pain or will she support it? *I
1. Chapter One: Did it rain when I died?

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Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon or any of the Characters , not even the OCs (Casey and family) BrokenDragon does. I will only own my own OCs (duh) If I even make them.

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AN: Anyway, the is a continuation of Broken Dragons "Never Too Thin" the first one. I asked her if I could and she said its okay, since she probably wont finish N2T2.

~*~*~

Serena Tsukino stood in front of the grave of her best friend. The rain softly drizzled around her, and tears ran down her pale cheeks and thin cheeks.

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~*~Cassandra Hertz~*~

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A beloved friend and daughter.

Who is now a beloved angel.

May she rest in peace, and know she is loved 

And will be deeply missed by all…

"Well, Casey. How you doing girl?" Serena crouched in front of the gave, touching the wet tombstone. "I got out of the hospital about a week ago. How do I look?" Serena chuckled to herself, already knowing the answer. "Yea, I did gain a lot of weight. I'm about 102 pounds now. I look like such a blimp…again." Serena stood up, glancing at the full grave again. "Well, I better go. I'll come see you again soon." Then she turned and left, her black boots sinking into the soft ground with each step.

Her father stood at the car waiting for her, with the door open. The took her umbrella as she got into the car. Closing the door he made it around the car and got in. "How are you feeling?" Ken Tsukino asked his daughter as she drove them home in the rain. 

"As good as can be expected…" Serena drew circles on the window which had started to fog. 

Mr. Tsukino glanced at his daughter and placed his eyes back on the road ahead. Ever since Cassandra Hertz died, Serena went into a stage of deep depression. Nothing or no one could cheer her up. Not even her beloved Darien. 'My little girl, my angel. Talk to us, what is going on?'

~*~*~

At home Serena dove into bed, burying her face in her pillows. Trying to relax at with the sound of water softly pounding on her window. She turned her head to the side, staying out the window at the gray sky. Letting her eyes close and her body relax, she fell asleep with the soft rhythm.

**__**

Dream

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"Serena, don't you love it when it rains?" Casey asked, they had just made it to Casey's home before the downpour began.

"Yea, sometimes. Only when thunder doesn't come with it." Serena laughed after saying that. Slowly, she let her self frown, staring at the back of her beloved friend. "Casey, are you okay?"

"Serena, did it rain when I died?" Casey slumped forwards and turned her head to look at her friend. A few strands of dark brown hair covered her face.

"What are you talking about? Y-you're not dead! You're right here!" Serena stood and looked into her friends dark green eyes, her own blues one began to fill with tears.

Serena blinked forcing the tears away and when she opened them she was found herself staring at a sickly looking girl. "Casey? What-what…" The girls hair had lost all of its shin and luster, and just fell limply around her, dark, unhealthy looking circles were under her eyes, her cheeks looked sucked in and her skin was dry. "What's going on Casey?"

"Serena, did it rain when I died?" Casey's voice quivered and she coughed violently. "Did it? Answer me Serena, please. Did it rain when I died?" She turned and looked back out the window at a streak of lighting.

"I-I don't know…I wasn't awake. I-" She was cut off as a large flash of lightning streak across the Tokyo skies.

"I hope it did, I just love the rain." Casey's voice was quite.

"But…you're not dead. You can't be since you're here! With-" 

BOOM! A sound of thunder ranged out, and shook the ground. Serena's eyes widened and she looked at her friend. "No!" BOOM! Again in thundered…

"I'm dead Serena." 

Serena…

"I'm dead, Serena…"

BOOM!

"No! Please…"

Serena…

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End of Dream/Nightmare

"Serena? Baby wake up please…" Irene Tsukino shook Serena softly but firmly, trying to wake up her daughter who was crying in her sleep. 

"No!" Serena shot up, startling her mother who jumped back. 

"Honey, are you okay?" She stepped forward to her daughter. But for an answer, Serena quickly got out of bed and ran to the bathroom, slamming and locking the door behind her. Through the door her mother could here her daughter coughing and gagging. _'No…Irene. She ate hours ago, she's not having a relapse…'_

~*~*~

Inside the bathroom, Serena cried and coughed into the toilet, but nothing came up. Sitting back against the wall, she cried for a moment. She winced painfully, her leg was hurting. Looking down she saw she had cut her leg and it was bleeding. "When did I do that?" She stared as she blood trickled down the curve of her leg and hit the floor. Somehow, she got a pleasure out of it…it even seemed funny. 

Serena laughed softly to herself. She touched the cut and hissed as it stung, but continued to play with it making it hurt more. Sighing, and let the physical pain numb her, as she continued playing with the cut. After a while the pain subsided and she got up, dug into the medicine cabinet for a box of bandages. 

Finding them she pulled them out and took out a bandage and covered the cut. She cleaned up she few drops of blood on the floor and threw the napkin in the toilet, flushing it down. 

As she put up the box of bandages and noticed the replaced razor blades and razors. She stared at them for a long time, before shaking her head and putting the bandages up.

~*~*~

To Be Continued…

What do you think? Please review. But, do not tell me about my grammatical errors. I'm only a sophomore so give me a break. Flames are also welcomed. I can decorate my room with them.


	2. Chapter Two: First cut of purpose cuts &...

AN: Disclaimer in first chapter. 

I would really like more reviews ::smiles:: I like them, they make me feel special! Anyway, I need someone to help me come up with ideas! PLEASE!

~*~*~

Coming out of her bathroom, Serena noticed her mother wasn't there anymore. Relived, she laid down on her bed, counting the dots on her ceiling. 

Sadly, her relief was cut short.

"Hello Serena." 

Sighing, she looked up towards the window at her guardian. "Hey Luna." Serena sat up and turned to the cat. "I didn't miss a meeting, did I?"

"No you didn't, but there will be one later this evening. The girls and Darien were wondering if you wanted to have a sleepover?" Luna jumped down from the windowsill and landed gracefully on the bed.

"Yeah, sure." _'Wow Darien is also going to be there? One guy with many girls surrounding him.'_ Suddenly jealousy hit her but she cut it short when she thought of why her friends wanted a sleepover. _'They must be worried and disgusted on how the leader, their princess acted.'_ Honestly, ever since she got out of the hospital she had been avoiding her friends. "Where is the sleep over going to be?"

"Amara and Michelle's home. Since their apartment also has a swimming pool, they thought it would be fun." Luna gave a smiled, when Serena nodded again. "Ok, we'll meet at 5 o'clock at their apartment." With that, she turned to leave, jumping back on the windowsill.

"Where are you going?" Serena asked without looking at the black cat.

"Oh, Artemis and I are just going to," She thought for a moment. " 'hangout'. " She flashed a smile, but soon it faded as she looked at her princesses back. _'Something major is bothering her, maybe tonight the girls can find out.'_

~*~*~

Wanting to be late on purpose, so she wouldn't worry her friends more then she had for the past many months, she walked slowly. Her sleeping bag was over her shoulder along with a change of clothes, swimsuit, and her Pajamas. At around, 30 minutes past 5 she walked into the apartment building towards the elevator.

"Kitten!" 

Looking out the coroner of her eyes she saw the familiar short haired blonde coming towards her, keys in hand. Before facing her she plastered on a smile.

"Hey Amara, what are you doing down here?"

"Oh, I was about to go and see if you needed a ride." Amara shrugged, putting her keys and hands into her pocket.

Serena noticed the glances she received. _'She's worried…' _"Sorry."

"For what, kitten?" Amara now looked a little confused.

"Being late…"

"Oh, don't worry about that. Come on the other girls are up stairs."

~*~*~

The apartment was about the same size as a normal house. It was filled with Michelle's paintings and Amara's trophies.

Serena placed down her bag and admired the living room, she had only been in here a few times and many or those few times she hadn't been inside. She followed Amara into the kitchen where all of her senshi and her future husband stood holding a cake. "Surprise!"

Blinking she stared at them, "Wow." She looked at the cake, it was a huge one sheet cake, with Sailor Moons face on the front, "Thank you everyone." She noticed the disappointment in her friends eyes. The old Serena would have been jumping around and would have already devoured half of the cake.

After a few minutes everyone was sitting and eating cake in the living room. The television was on and a romance movie was playing. Darien was sitting beside Serena his arm around her shoulder. "You feeling okay?" He asked her noticing she had barely taken two bites of the cake. "Love?" 

"What? Oh, I'm fine, just in thought."

"Yea, she must have got loss, there is big empty spaces in there." The crack came from Raye, the only thing she received was a slap on the head by Lita. "Ow! Come on, I was kidding!"

Serena found herself laughing. "Well, at least I have somewhere to put my brain! You're so full of it, you keep leaving yours at home!" It was Serena's turn to get hit, but from Mina. "Ow! Hey!"

Nearly two hours later, Michelle suggested everyone go down to go swimming. Serena put on a one piece light pink bathing suit, and wrapped the large beach towel around her waist and met the girls half way to the pool. She noticed Darien's shocked face. She was still thin and pale, she was now nearly flat- chested.. "Yea, I know. I look like that evil doll thing, Jemoe, we had to fight, during the time of Queen Beryl, when you a Raye were dating." She had to laugh at that. **(AN: Shingo no junjou! Kanashimi no France ningyo [Shingo's Love! Sorrow French Doll] Ep. 18.) **

~*~*~

Later that night, Serena was staring at Darien's sleeping form. "Love, how much did I put you through?" She whispered then scanned the sleeping forms of her sleeping friends. "How much did I put any of you through?" Standing. She tip-toed towards the bathroom. Once inside, she shut it and leaned against the door closing her eyes. "I made my friends worry, they love me and I put them through hell…" 

She looked at her small pink make-up bag which she had brought, opening it she hey eyes immediately went to the razor. Her mind began to wonder back to earlier in the day when she cut her leg.

The pain…

..the pleasure…

…the numbness…

She took the razor black out of the razor body, and stared a the sharp edge.

She seemed to float out of her body, and watched her sell of a form raise the sleeve of her pajamas top and she cut her first purpose cut on her upper arm. She hissed as a fiery pain went through her. She the pain slowly turned into pleasure then all seemed numb.

"Is this like a drug?" She quietly asked herself as she stared at the blood trickling down her arm. 

She looked into her reflection as she washed her arm, applying a bandage. "Casey, I'm some mess up girl, aren't I?"

After washing her face and rolling down her sleeve, she walked back out and made it to her sleeping bag. Once in her mind went back to her deceased friend. _'Casey why did you have to die?' _

~*~*~

Flashback

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"Serena? We'll be friends forever, right?" Casey and Serena were under a tree at the park. It was beautiful, and peaceful. Kids were running around and playing. Other walking around, panicking, talking, or romancing.

"I really hope so? Why do you ask?" Serna broke off a blade of grass with a lady bug crawling on it.

"I'm just wondering…We'll still be friends even to our graves?"

"Casey I wish you'd stop talking about death, it scares me."

"Well, what we do is deadly…"

"I know. But, we do it for perfection right?"

"Right!" Casey quickly turn to Serena. "Guess what?"

"What?" Serena blinked a few times.

"You know that girl. Rayna, in our Science class?"

"Yes, the creep one? What about her?" Serena starched out her legs and watched the lady bug fly away.

"Well, I found out she's a self-mutilator, you know, a cutter." She said bringing her knees to her chest and nodding

Serena gasped and looked at her friend. "Unbelievable…she seems so together, but creepy!" 

"Yea…" Casey looked at Serena out the corner of her eye. "I do it too sometimes…"

"What! Casey why?"

"Its…relaxing. I mean it supports what I do, to make it easier." She shrugged.

"Erg, I could never do it. I can't even get a shot without the hospital staff holding me down. Serena laughed remembering one time when she was about 10.

"Oh you're such a wimp!" Casey said playfully, pulling on Serena's pigtail.

"Ow! Hey…I am not a wimp! I'm just…careful!" Serena said and a chase began.

"Wow! A klutz that is careful, that's something new!" Casey yelled behind her, running.

End of Flashback

~*~*~

Serena smirked and let sleep overcome her. "Guess what Casey?" She asked with a yawn, "I'm not longer a wimp."

~*~*~

To Be Continued…

This was more of a run one. But anyway, would anyone like to be my editor or something? Or someone to help me come up with ideas? I really need some help on that.

Anyway, review!


	3. Amaras Confession

AN: Amara will be a big part of the story and much OOCness!

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Nightmare

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"Casey! Please wait up! Serena called after the brunette, who continued to run. "Casey! It's not funny anymore! Please stop!" But it was Serena who stopped, and she quickly sunk to the ground breathing quickly. All she could do was watch Cassandra Hertz's form grow distant in the darkness. As she grew distant two white lights came nearer: headlights…

"Casey!"

Serena stood, gaining energy she ran towards her friend who had finally stopped and turned around to face her. "C'mon you wim-" Casey didn't finish before the forest green Ford Mustang hit her.

Serena blue eyes were wide and frightened, she watched in pure horror as her friends body went over the hood of the car, hitting the windshield before she went completely over the car landing on the ground with a bone break *Thud*.

She stared…

…and screamed.

*SLAP*

"C'mon you idiot! You forced me to do that, now wake up!" Raye screamed through her tears, holding her hand with was turning a light red to match the print on Serena's cheek. 

She was pulled back but Amara, who quickly grabbed Serena and began shaking the screaming and whimpering girl. "Kitten! Wake up! Kitten!" She quickly stopped when the screaming ceased and only her whimpering remained. 

"Sere? Are you awake, come on. Open your eyes." Darien came closer to his love, embracing her when she saw the blue of her eyes. 

"Darien…what…?" Was all she got out, before her nightmare came back and tears overcame her. "Oh Gods…I saw it. I saw her get hit again…there was nothing I could do!" 

No one said anything.

No one **could **say anything.

*

At two in the afternoon, Michelle looked over at her friends who were watching TV, and hinted to Amara that she was going into the other room to use the phone.

"Hello, Tsukino resident, this is Ken."

Michelle turned her back and talked into the phone quietly. "Hello Mr. Tsukino." 

"…She had another nightmare didn't she?"

Taken back, Michelle stared at the phone in her hands and place it back to her ear. "Yes, she is okay right now. How did you know?"

__

"She has them every night, in fact, every time she goes to sleep." Ken Tsukino voice sounded tired and drained. _"But more importantly, did she eat?"_

"She shared a salad with Amara but that is all. She didn't touch the homemade pizza Lita made. However, the salad she ate was at noon, witch was almost 3 hours ago."

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"She ate. But the time and what she ate makes me wonder is its good or bad." He sighed. "Sammy has a baseball game later on, so we might not be home when she comes, would you tell her for me?"

"Yes of course. We'll try to get her to eat more in the meantime. Give Sammy my luck."

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"Thank you, and I will. Bye."

*

Amara stood in the doorway of Serena's house, her hands stuffed into her pockets. "You sure you don't want me to pick you up anything?" She asked her eyes roaming over the thin form in front of her.

"I'm sure. Thanks for asking." She leaned against the door, lightly swinging it.

Amara could tell Serena was trying to get rid of her, but she wasn't going to get dismissed so easily. "Serena c'mon all you had today was my salad and that was hours ago."

"You know…I don't need pity or anything from any of you guys. I can take care of myself." She said coolly.

"Dammit, I'm not pitying you." Amara gripped the door and shut it, staring into the eyes of a now shocked 15 year old. "I care about you and your life. Not just because you are my princesses. I can care for you as a friend, right!"

"Why…?" Serena turned away, gripping a pigtail in her small pale hands. "Why?"

"When I met you for the first time, I felt a calmness. I felt protected. You weren't scared of me, you didn't run when you found out I was a woman. You didn't look disgusted or anything." Amara let the words spill out, not caring that she opened herself up.

"That's because I- YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! JUST GO AWAY!"

"No! I will not!" Amara gripped Serenas solders and turned her around. "I went through it all Kitten."

"What?" Serenas eyes were wide and filled with shock and confusion.

"When I was 13, I hated myself! I starved myself to near death…I almost died Serena! You almost died…I see me, in you. Do you understand now?"

"Amara…"

"Do you?!"

^*^*^

EH, so. How was it. 

I bet you guys are like Amara would never do that! Full story in next chapter. If I post one BUT I NEED MORE REVIEWS!


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